Since I can remember, I have always wanted to do something that helped others have children, I wasnt sure if I was going to go down the route of surrogacy, I have sat and read a load of information with that subject and keeping in mind that this was before I had my own children, it sounded like the perfect thing for me back when I was younger, I had this urge to experience pregnancy but back when I was a bit younger I dont think I was mentally ready (who is haha?) to have my own children..
but the only issue I had was mainly that I didn’t know where to even start, and it wasn’t until I had Robin that I didn’t reconsider it, mainly because one of my wonderful friends in my facebook baby group shared she herself was donating her eggs and suddenly the doors got opened up, I asked her all sorts of questions and the main one was who she was using to do all this with and she recommended Altrui and gave me a run down on what to do.
On the site there is a little questionnaire to fill in about yourself and your life, how many children you’ve had and other health related questions, one of them was if I have had issues with mental health and I decided to be completely honest and say that I do have social anxiety, there was also a section for what your personality is like and my personality now is miles different to what is once was before I had children so I had to ask Mr S to tell me what I was like.. shared hobbies and other bits and pieces.. it all felt so good to finally get it done after sitting on it for months thinking over things,
Mr S is so supportive of it all, his main worry was just that if they damage my ovaries when they remove the viable eggs because we aren’t done with our family just yet and one of my biggest worries is to not be able to have children and he doesn’t want me to do this and have that taken away from me, which I completely understand but I told him not to worry and they do this kind of thing all the time so the likelihood of something going wrong is minimal and of course I would need to have injections which with me being a complete coward I want him to do as I do not think that I am capable of doing myself.
I filled it all in and sent it off and on Tuesday I got an email back and despite the fact that I have had three healthy children, zero health issues besides mental health.. I am to fat to donate my eggs, I felt really down.. something I have always wanted to do now feels like its impossible, but they want me to lower my BMI only by 10, and I wish for the day when people stop using BMI, because we all know how useless and pointless it is and I now feel stuck..
So I did something even I am suprised by, I contacted my old Slimming World consultant and asked if there would be an issue with me coming back to the group..
This will be a long and hard journey but I want to one day help a family out there who are so desperate for a child have their dream come true, and if that means fighting my anxiety by going to Slimming World every week… if that means working my fat arse off.. I will do that.
on the 30th I am going back, only because my husband is away next week and I want to go alone without any children..
wish me luck..