Supporting Mothers and The Feeding Guilt

Feeding, Not Judging!

Something wonderful happened a few months ago, Midwives are now no longer going to pressure women into breastfeeding if they choose not to, and its about time that this is a thing, there are to many stories on the internet of Midwives and other health professionals not even bothering to help mum’s with their choice in feeding their baby, or even making them feel like they are doing something wrong with not choosing to breastfeed.

Now, they are there to help and its fantastic, women shouldn’t be judged for how they choose to feed their baby. which is why I am a strong supporter of the Fed is Best campaigns, while breast milk is the natural way if a women decides that they wish to use formula instead for whatever reason she will be supported and helped, given information on the safe ways to do it and hopefully now given a crash course in making bottles and using sterilizers.

Things No One Tells you..

When I gave birth to Kai, I was determined to breastfeed, I struggled badly even in the hospital while being man handled by the midwives who got tiny drops out from my sore boobs, I begged them to give me some formula but I was told time and again, while in tears, that I ‘had enough milk for my son’ and how important it was to breastfeed with posters everywhere stating that only the best parents start their babies lives out right with breastmilk. we was discharged, and still not feeding properly, they were just happy that I had been to the toilet after my epidural than wither or not my son was getting everything he needed, he was turning orange but I was told to put him in sunlight and he should get better.

What they don’t tell you is the best way to help improve jaundice is through feeding, enabling the body to flush it out, sunlight only did half the job.

I was sent home, exhausted with sore nipples and crying at every feed, it wasn’t until my midwife who saw me through my pregnancy came to do the usual visit and saw just how orange Kai was and how my mental health was slowly deteriorating and told me it would be best to artificially feed him, she saw how much we was struggling and helped, gave advice and despite the heartbreak of not being able to feed him, got him healthy and that’s all that mattered.

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I have always felt shy about my opinions on feeding, I have always experienced negativity whenever I fed in public with formula, I have dealt with being told I was poisoning my child that he would grow up stupid because I hadn’t given him my milk, which the way it dried up there wasn’t much there to begin with but now, now more people are being open and honest with it, not just formula mum’s but breastfeeding mum’s are being proud of showing that they feel that fed is best above all, mental health of the mother and the safe feeding of the baby is more important than where the milk comes from itself.

and that’s now going to come from the most important people who help you bring these tiny humans into the world, no more judging, no more pushing, MUM’S KNOW BEST and that’s final! They will respect your choices like they should do.

Education is BEST!

Educating women on how to safely feed their baby regardless of how they choose to feed is so important, educating them on how to safely make a bottle of formula or even how to safely clean bottles should be a part of it. I remember being left on my own when I had Amelia and they used a cold water sterilizer while I had only ever used a steam microwave one and no one was willing to help me, show me how to use it because of the ‘breast is best’ movement and I was made to feel so guilty for not choosing what was ‘best’ for my baby, with Robin they thankfully started making pre-made bottles and I used them, but not sharing how to use this strange sterilizer felt so off and unfair.

We are made to feel guilty no matter how we choose to feed and its going to be wonderful to be able to give birth and feed however it suits us.

Support all mothers with their choices and never EVER judge someone for it, I know I dont turn my nose up at a woman breastfeeding their baby in the park as I hope she would return the favor not to make a judgement because I choose to formula.. have pride in what you do but please be more understanding of others who may have struggled here you have succeeded.. we are all in this journey together and should support and stand by one another regardless.

Until next time

For more information on what Fed Is Best does then find them on twitter here and website here, what they try to stress is that they aren’t about formula, they support all mothers regardless of how they feed which I feel some do not understand.

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