Funny how quickly things go wrong..
September was meant to be the month of goals, working hard and getting my blogging life on track. But of course like all good plans, mental health creeps around the corner and sucks the life out of you. This month started with great confidence and is slowly ending with me feeling exhausted and full of self doubt.
I have a lot of work that needs to be done and my brain, being the abused mess that it is, is switching off and closing down when I need it to work hard.
After much thinking and stressing.. including a serious case of anxiety and a struggling feeling of that wonderful thing called motherhood loneliness, I am taking time off from ‘work’ on my blog. I don’t need to earn money from it, I am in a position of comfort with the fact my husband works full time to support us, so I am switching back to how I always wanted to keep my blog.
All about my life and my children, and whatever adventures we get up too.
I hope that everyone enjoys this little change on my blog, I will of course share reviews of products that I love along with my monthly Glossybox posts, its just sometimes so important to take care of yourself when you know something doesn’t feel right.
Welcome to a new series I decided to start after sitting down with my husband and talking about what else I can do on my blog, besides personal events, reviews, game related things etc.
So I’d like to introduce you to an A-Z series which will be posted once a week on a Thursday.. the first week I am going to talk about.
I am un-diagnosed, I know many people consider anyone who hasn’t talked to a doctor has someone who used google to look up their symptoms, while Doctor Google isn’t the most reliable person you could ask ‘whats wrong with me’ I did exactly that a while ago while feeling panicky about having to do something with other people, I knew I was scared to talk to strangers and sometimes the thought of heading into town can cause my stomach to turn and my heart to pound away… so I used a checklist from the NHS website and it classed me as having Social Anxiety.
It can be a very funny thing, sometimes I am completely okay with people, it obviously depends on the person but if I feel that I can trust someone, I can talk to them easier, but even when I am having to go talk to a friend I feel worried about doing it.
It comes and goes, like the other day I went shopping with R and got my daith piercing done but sometimes I am completely scared to go out and deal with the world, I know I need to go talk to a doctor about it but, with the territory of talking to a stranger, I honestly feel I am not truly read to do that, mainly because my local doctors are a little fat bias and tend to blame anything that’s wrong with me on my diet or my weight.
I think going on from this people need to understand that just because I haven’t had a doctor write down that I have it, doesn’t mean that I don’t suffer from some form of mental health issues which is extremely unfair on those who hide away from fear of making that first move to reach and talk to someone.
I will get there, I am working on my problems one day at a time and I will come out of this strong… I hope..