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Since I can remember, I have always wanted to do something that helped others have children, I wasnt sure if I was going to go down the route of surrogacy, I have sat and read a load of information with that subject and keeping in mind that this was before I had my own children, it sounded like the perfect thing for me back when I was younger, I had this urge to experience pregnancy but back when I was a bit younger I dont think I was mentally ready (who is haha?) to have my own children..

but the only issue I had was mainly that I didn’t know where to even start, and it wasn’t until I had Robin that I didn’t reconsider it, mainly because one of my wonderful friends in my facebook baby group shared she herself was donating her eggs and suddenly the doors got opened up, I asked her all sorts of questions and the main one was who she was using to do all this with and she recommended Altrui and gave me a run down on what to do.

On the site there is a little questionnaire to fill in about yourself and your life, how many children you’ve had and other health related questions, one of them was if I have had issues with mental health and I decided to be completely honest and say that I do have social anxiety, there was also a section for what your personality is like and my personality now is miles different to what is once was before I had children so I had to ask Mr S to tell me what I was like.. shared hobbies and other bits and pieces.. it all felt so good to finally get it done after sitting on it for months thinking over things,

Mr S is so supportive of it all, his main worry was just that if they damage my ovaries when they remove the viable eggs because we aren’t done with our family just yet and one of my biggest worries is to not be able to have children and he doesn’t want me to do this and have that taken away from me, which I completely understand but I told him not to worry and they do this kind of thing all the time so the likelihood of something going wrong is minimal and of course I would need to have injections which with me being a complete coward I want him to do as I do not think that I am capable of doing myself.

I filled it all in and sent it off and on Tuesday I got an email back and despite the fact that I have had three healthy children, zero health issues besides mental health.. I am to fat to donate my eggs, I felt really down.. something I have always wanted to do now feels like its impossible, but they want me to lower my BMI only by 10, and I wish for the day when people stop using BMI, because we all know how useless and pointless it is and I now feel stuck..

So I did something even I am suprised by, I contacted my old Slimming World consultant and asked if there would be an issue with me coming back to the group..

This will be a long and hard journey but I want to one day help a family out there who are so desperate for a child have their dream come true, and if that means fighting my anxiety by going to Slimming World every week… if that means working my fat arse off.. I will do that.

on the 30th I am going back, only because my husband is away next week and I want to go alone without any children..

wish me luck..

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Sometimes with my blog I like to take time out on all the scheduled posts and give a little life update, because lets face it, that’s what blogging used to be about, sitting down and updating those who follow you about daily life and anything in-between and so I have been mildly afk due to some life stuff I thought it would be a good idea to shed some light on why I haven’t done much in the case of writing and blogging, hell even my twitter and instagram have taken a beating.

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This week has been one of the hardest I’ve dealt with lately, for the past two or three weeks, I’ve honestly lost count, Robin hasn’t been eating properly.. we’ve offered her food but she has this new thing of throwing whatever we’ve offered her onto the floor and then when she did eat something, it hasn’t been the most healthiest of things but to add to the stress, shes also had a horrific cold and those with children will understand that when one child has a cold, the parents suffer the most.

I cannot remember the day this all started, all I know is that this is the first time in a long while that I have almost passed out in a car journey back from food shopping on thursday evening.. I feel like a sick toddler is harder than a newborn, because lets face it, newborns will happily go back to sleep once they have been dealt with and the mornings arent as bad.. because you could just put the newborn back into its bed and it will let you have a few extra minutes of peace.

..a two year old however.. will throw her toys at you or scream at you if you so much as touch your head to the pillow, we’ve co-shared the bed, we’ve been tough and told her to go back to sleep but its now at the point where bedtime or.. I guess night time is a big struggle and its actually caused me to really judge my ability of being a mother and really push my sanity to its limits and while it has been difficult, I have tried to look at it all with a positive outlook, I have been getting lots of cuddles of Robin and while I haven’t done much writing on the actual blog I have so many ideas written down for lots of posts for the month of May which I am hoping to get written and posted once her routine goes back to normal and thankfully because of her being poorly Mr S has been doing the school runs for me allowing me to not have to get makeup on and let my skin breath a little…

Funny how a few sick days can sometimes be a little curse as well a blessing.. and with a better nights sleep my brain is feeling a lot less fuzzy and Robin is feeling better in herself, back to her demonic little self!

Which in turn hopefully means that next week will be the most productive week yet!

until next time

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The one thing my husband and I have problems with is picking a name we can both agree on, when we first met we chatted about future children and names that we both liked, I know that sounds really weird but it was a long time ago and I am not 100% sure how the conversation came up but when the time came to it, our first boy was always going to be Malachi (pronounced Mala-Kai) and after much disagreement from family members who kept calling him by his middle name of ‘Frederick’ Kai finally stuck and he suits his name..

With Amelia things were a bit different, during my pregnancy with Kai we decided and found out the gender.. but with Amelia, we did want to know and they tried to see but she had her legs crossed.. I was kinda glad we didn’t know because I worry a little about gender bias with certain people and was scared that if she was a girl, people would forget Kai existed so we sat for ages trying to figure out a girl name just in case.. and .. well she was a girl, around two weeks before the birth I was sitting on Wikipedia.. as you do.. and I was reading about a certain female aviator and suggested the name of Amelia and it stuck.

We then spent a good few years not even thinking about future names, our next boy was always planned to be called Dominic which I have always wanted to use as a name since I worked in a nursery and there was this sweet little boy with the name who really left a mark on my heart after all these years.. but we still had no name for a girl, after discovering we was expecting Robin and just after we found out her gender we settled on the name of Ruby, but there was a slight problem.. I started to hate the way people said it, something just didn’t sit right with me so I suggested to change it, keep with a R name and just not share it with anyone but the only problem was that there aren’t many R names that we liked..

While at a family dinner Mr S and I stood at the patio doors looking out at some birds hopping around in my aunts garden, those birds happen to have been robins, and it was decided a good month before her birth that the newest member of our family would be called Robin.

You plan and prep for this new tiny human to enter the world and often find like me that the hardest decision is just finding a name that’s perfect, I never liked my name, I still don’t.. I also hated the fact that my first name and second name share the same start letter, While we have Dominic for a boy, we are still stuck on any future girl names.. we cannot agree on anything but I guess that’s one of the fun things about being a parent… indecisiveness

What names do you have picked out for any future children, or are you a little like me and are completely stumped!

Until next time

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Social Media –

Not a day goes by so I see someone complaining about social media, my mum for an example hates it and I can see why she does, she doesn’t agree with ‘sharing your life’ but I don’t think she understands that you don’t need to share everything you do online.

I use Facebook for family members who I don’t see often, it’s easier to share photos of the kids to their great nan on Facebook than it is just waiting until we see her.

With twitter I talk to new friends who I’ve found through blogging, some of who I hope to one day meet and talk in person with

And of course Instagram, which is full of inspiration, who doesn’t like Instagram?

Perhaps it’s because I’m a bit younger than her, I’ve been using the net for most of my life and I remember a time before social media and honestly nothing has changed, besides from the fact you couldn’t randomly tweet that celeb you sets your trousers on fire, I do sort of miss a time before social media, everything seemed less stressful and carefree..

….apart from the mad time of being in someone’s ‘top 10’ on MySpace…

But without social media, I would probably feel very lonely, which considering how everyone used to view the internet back ‘in the day’ isn’t a sad thing, I’m grateful for all my friends who I’ve made through the bright little electronic gadget in my pocket.

Until next time

Mummy Cat

x

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Autumn is by far my favorite time of year, but why do I love it so much?

I think its got something to do with my childhood, I have some fond memories of going on walks with my Nan around the town, collecting conkers and pine cones, watching their walnuts fall from their twin trees in their garden and be collected by the countless squirrels that chase around.

The colors are beautiful, the air is cool after and there is this wonderful smell that you only get this time of year.

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And then there’s Halloween, my family have never been big into Halloween, the closest my mum gets to fun is buying a bag of sweets for the odd child who will knock on the door, I loved it, I remember feeling so envious of all the spooky looking children walk up and town our street knocking on doors, My ex’s family made a huge deal about it, and would throw Halloween parties each year which was brilliant..

So once I had children I made the choice to make it fun for them, each year we get a pumpkin and I end up carving it while they sit and watch, each year we decorate the house up and buy bags of sweets for anyone who will knock, and we try each year to go to a party, this year we are busy which i’m sad about but I cannot wait for next year haha.

Autumn makes me happy, because the summer is over, and I cannot stand the heat and each year I look forward to it even more, and of course there is an added bonus of A’s birthday, she was due on the 7th November but came two weeks early on the 28th…

Autumn is the BEST time of year, do you love it too?

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Until next time

Mummy Cat

x

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