How we choose to feed our babies has caused rather heated arguments over the past few years and I really cannot see why, No one asks the mothers why they picked one form or another to feed their own children without criticizing her choice.

I am from a side of the spectrum that gets called out and moaned at for not breastfeeding, and no one has dared to ask why because they assume that I am doing it out of pure laziness or believing my boobs are ‘sexual only’.. not one person stops to think that I did try at one point and it frankly didn’t work..

when you get pregnant you are told almost straight away that ‘breast is best’ and that its easy etc… not many tell you the sheer raw reality that while it is ‘best’ it isn’t always the better choice and it frankly isn’t as easy as they say it is.. it hurts, you can bleed and sometimes in my case your body goes against the norm and doesn’t produce enough milk.

I had so many dreams when I found out I was expecting my eldest Kai, I was naive and no one told me the truth behind those first painful weeks. When I had him i tried my hardest to feed him.. but it went nowhere.

Once I was home and my wonderful midwife saw him and saw how he wasn’t feeding, how he wasn’t loosing his horrendous orange colour and how much of the fact that he wouldn’t stop screaming out of hunger was bringing me down (I was often in tears from pain and feeling like a failure because in my mind, I couldn’t feed him correctly… she recommended I switch to formula and in that moment that I did, he became a happy contented baby (besides from his allergy issue to lactose which we didn’t know if until the 6 month mark) his orange tinge went and he gained weight properly.

My daughter Amelia is a completely different story, from the moment I found out I was expecting I had already made the choice to formula feed from birth and I am glad I did, she was happy and most importantly I wasn’t on the verge of tears everytime I fed her.. And once again when my third baby arrived I stuck with formula.

The other day while sitting on my favorite baby group on Facebook, someone shared a post about another group which was about breastfeeding support or you would hope it was about that, some of the things that had been shared, I wouldn’t even dream of saying to another mum about how she feeds her baby.. It is of course a personal choice.. Seeing their bias opinion of breastfeeding and how formula is ‘poison’ to babies and have killed babies was shocking…

They shared this link about the ‘history of formula’ and unfortunately it was extremely one sided and more about the American formula ingredients and how the ‘companies don’t share what’s in it’ while anyone here in the UK can look at the box of ANY brand and see exactly what’s in it due to UK food standard laws.. you can I think go onto the manufactures websites and read about what goes into baby milk.

What I found worse with the whole thing was a woman who had had a baby 1 week ago was finding that her baby was drinking blood, but the group told her to continue with feeding, not even a midwife at a hospital would allow a baby to drink milk with blood in it.

My favorite hashtag to use on social media is #fedisbest and it truly is…

No one should judge you on how you feed you OWN baby, no one should make you feel bad when you have tried but it just wasn’t working ..

You are not a failure for choosing formula!


Mummy Cat

Disclaimer: this is my personal choice, please no hate mail.

Its happened, my middle kitten Amelia is off to primary school.. Part of me is excited for her but the other part, is terrified (that ol’ anxiety again). I keep looking at photos of her when she was a baby and I cannot believe that this October is her 5th birthday and she will be at primary school with her brother.

We took a trip into town during the weekend and started to organise school.. Kai had his hair cut and Amelia is now a proud owner of a brand new set of uniform.. and its scary..

I am sure that when shes there in September all my worries and fears will melt away like they did when Kai first started but I can see myself dealing with the same kind of feelings when Robin reaches that age..

You are never prepared for when your tiny newborns aren’t newborns any more… its bad enough that Robin is now 17 weeks old.

Where on earth did that time go? 

I know that growing up is a part of life but some days I have just one wish, that time stopped for a little bit so I can enjoy them as tiny people for a little long.

Here’s to September, the most stressful and exciting time in any mummies life.

Mummy Cat



see what I did there… no?… okay…

We all have problems and we all like to talk about said problems? sometimes, I am reluctant to chat about my issues because I don’t like to come across as a special snowflake, I understand others have the same things as me.

..but here I am, talking about my problems heh…heh..

I suffer from some form of anxiety, I am not 100% sure what kind but I know I have one, I used to believe it was a social one but lately its about anything that comes into my mind, or in the case of the other night when I suddenly suffered with a panic attack for NO DAMN GOOD REASON!!

Honestly pin pointing the exact moment when I developed some problem is, a problem… I don’t know, It was either school and bullies.. or being told by someone that the only way to loose any weight was to starve myself.. Yes the arseholes are out there. but here I am, 30 years old, mother of 3 and worrying about everything!

Having to fight with people to get my worries across is painful. I have a fear of trains, and lately with the whole terror issue going on in Europe, the threat is high here in the UK, last Christmas my mum wanted to take my son into London to see a panto and the only condition that I asked for was for him to NOT go on the underground, I literally had to cry down the phone to my mum to get her to understand my fear and why I wanted him to get there in a car, this was days after the Paris attacks and as you can imagine my anxitey was extremely high.. its pretty amazing that the day he goes into London there was a knife attack in the underground.. call it mums intuition or whatever but every atom in me is glad he went in the car..

I get mocked for my fear of trains.. I don’t know how that started (bit like my anxiety) as I used to travel on trains all the time..

But this isn’t about siderodromophobia (Yup) this is about me rambling about my worries..

I am trying to get over it, I tried the night of my attack to think about something else, Mr S helped, the attack itself was very odd, I felt like I could just stop breathing and it wouldn’t even matter, I didn’t sleep very well that night but it passed and I still do not know why it happened.. 

Its a funny thing anxiety, everyone has different experiences of it and many aren’t diagnosed with it, like myself.. I am self diagnosed as I noticed the symptoms I was dealing with matched with what the NHS have on their website.

I am just going to have to deal with it, one day at a time and try not to yell at those who do not clearly understand the feeling if complete and utter fear at anything normal..

 But anyway.. I have a cake to bake!

Until next ramble..

Mummy Cat


Disclaimer; if any of that doesn’t make any sense, sorry.. it is a ramble after all heh


The annoying thing about not being able to drive during summer holidays is not being able to get anywhere that might be worth anything, we try to walk everyday, weather permitting but obviously it is more hard work now with three children.

We do manage to get out at weekends, and every Sunday Mr S takes the two older kittens around to his mums house to let me get the house back to how I like it as like going for an everyday walk, housework during the summer holidays has been pushed aside a little, basic vacuuming gets done but my goodness… you should see Mount Dirty-Washing!!

Yesterday, Saturday 6th August we went to our favorite place to visit over the spring and summer months, Cammas Hall Farm to pick fruit for my mums jam making skills, and of course it gave me an opportunity to stretch my photography legs.

Beautiful Blueberries ready at the end of August.
Next week is the busy week for us, we are either off to Walton on the Naze but depending on weather it may be somewhere different but either way I am sure it will be an exciting adventure which will probably get written about here. 

Until next time, whenever that will be..

Mummy Cat