A weight issue..

Hello again lovely people, time for a little share..

Two weeks ago I rejoined my local slimming world, I had been going during my pregnancy and only gained a small amount of weight, tried to go back during the summer holidays and it didnt go to well.. so decided to return the week the schools go back and hit it hard.. and I did, I charged up my fit bit, took extra long walks back to home and to school and really worked damn hard at my eating and writing down what I had.. I never went over my syn count and did everything exactly to the book..

Weigh day came and I was anxious as every time I restarted I only managed to loose 1/2lb… everyone else around me who joined the same week manages to drop half a stone in one go… I dont clearly but I didn’t have diet cola like I did the first time I joined and while I was nervous I was confident that I would hopefully loose more than just half a stupid pound… 

I went in to group early and helped set things up, stepped onto the scales and… I gained.. half a pound!!! My little fat heart broke.. I got off the scales, smiled at the consultant and cried on my walk back home.. I have dealt with let downs before, but not when you have worked so hard, and want something so badly.. I felt like a failure, I am a failure.. 

I didn’t go the second week, I spent the rest of the week in a paranoid anxiety ridden ball..

I decided to go it alone.. I cannot deal with that feeling of disappointment each week, the anxiety each week and I am sure my nails will thank me for not going back because every wednesday I would bite them out of nerves.

I have done it before and I can do it again..

I am not going to starve but I hope to use the knowledge I gained from slimming world, I still have my book and can work with that.. But I will not be returning to a group.

*sigh* 

I dont know what else to say… I just had to get that off my chest..

and I feel better for it 🙂

until next time

Mummy Cat

x

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