Normally this feeling hits when the baby is around 3 months old, for me at least.. but as the months go on the feeling gets a little stronger the more my baby grows and becomes more and more independent.
I have asked, mentioned it a few times here and there but sadly because of our lack of space we simply cannot grow our family anymore, even R is a tight squeeze in our tiny two bedroom flat but still that urge is there eating away at me, knowing my body clock is slowly ticking away.
I think I just love babies, I love the smell of them and their tiny wrinkly skin, I love their hand movements and their facial expressions.. and then they grow out of their newbornness and that’s when I feel the urge.. but is a common thing, I believe its got something to do with hormones, you look at these tiny humans you’ve created and can’t help but want one more.
I don’t like pregnancy, I have never liked it, even during my first pregnancy I hated every second, I didn’t like how I didn’t have control over my body, how I had to abide by a bunch of stupid medical rules.. I know that’s extremely selfish of me to think that, I even feel like that about after birth, if you breastfeed you are still supplying food for another person and not just yourself..
I believe that’s part of the reason I will never breastfeed.
but even with all the pain, the leg cramps and the after birth issues.. I adore babies! Looking back at photos of my three fills me with a mixture of sadness and longing of them to just stop growing so quickly, my eldest is now a 7-year-old and I still remember the moment he was past to Mr S after birth, his little pink face all sore from the forceps.
Why do I want another baby? I just do, I will wait until we have the space for the next one.. but that urge.. that craving will linger forever until that day comes..
I swear… ill be starring in 16 kids and Counting in the near future!!!!