I have been so busy these few days, a combination of getting the flat back to normal after the summer holidays (so much washing!) and a really blue mood which has has been hanging around since Tuesday, I know why I feel like it and I am trying to not let it get into my head but it’s hard…

On the plus I am due back to my doctors next week for my second anxiety appointment, I am less nervous this time around for it but I feel that I should mention my low mood and ’empty’ feeling that’s hovering around, I feel now that the best course of action is to be medicated, the doctor suggested I use Rescue Remedy which did help a little but while Mr S was away in Germany I suffered anxiety attacks and full blown panic attacks every few hours or so, I actually lost count (it wasn’t due to him being away but it didn’t help he was in another country) and the drops didn’t really do much to calm me down and I spend most of him being away close to tears.

Right now, as I sit in my bath (it’s a purple, sparkly Lush bath) I am thinking of the future, to October and Halloween, and of course December and BLOGMAS!!! my daughter is turning 6 shortly and I know things will get better, life will be better..

I can’t keep letting little things upset me and bring me down, learn from the mistakes and grow to be a better person for my children and their future.

BUT coming up on the blog soon will be a review from Organix and some fun craft items which I received in the mail the other day, more A to Z’s which a few have been written by Mr S and maybe another guest post series!

Until next time

Mummy Cat



Update – Anxiety.

I have talked about my un-diagnosed anxiety quiet a bit on my blog, because its something that is always there and always in the back of my mind..

After what I can only describe as the worst seven weeks of my life, finally ending, well its not ended but its ended up with me dealing with an increase in panic/anxiety attacks, just last week I had three in one week when I usually have one once a month if I’m lucky..

and one of the days I had two back to back of each other.. not good..

So… I am super proud of myself, that I finally picked up the phone and called my GP… to talk to someone about my issues, my mum has recommended that I go see her massage therapist, so that’s probably where I am going to go, if the doctor asks me if I would like treatment, I don’t want to medicate.. I want to try and talk through my problems first before going down the extreme route of medication..

Not that medication is bad, but I don’t think it would be right for me, as I know I find talking much more therapeutic, Mr S has dealt with me talking all the time about my issues, I think its fair that he gets a little break haha.

My appointment is on the 18th of August, my mum is coming with me as I will be alone with the children, offering me support and trying to  make sure that my opinions on being medicated at this second, aren’t ignored.

I feel proud I did it, considering I don’t like talking to people on the phone OR people in general, its a big step for me..

A big step in a much more healthier mind.

I will update you all more later..

Mummy Cat


Mother and baby groups aren’t for me.

You are told when you first become a mother that you should join mother and baby groups and ‘socialize’ with fellow mums in your area..

sure okay.. when?!

When I had my son I tried to go along to these groups but with finding the time, transport and the obvious social anxiety that I dealt with daily, it was tough to go along with it.. many of the days out ended up in places I simply couldn’t get to (my only mode of transport is a bus) and in the end I decided to not bother.

Shortly after having my second child I was once again told that it would be great for me to join in at our local SureStart center with other mums and babies, I was living in a completely new town by that point and honestly didn’t know many people in my local area, so I went along with my son who was 18 months old when my second child was born but once again it felt awkward, everyone there was already BFF and I just didn’t feel like I could fit in! plus if I am honest going to these play days with a new baby is harder than you think so I decided to not go once again…

Roll around 5 years later and I have been given many leaflets about mum meet ups and groups local to me, I’d love to go but I know that I would deal with the same issues that I did before, always in places I cannot get too or full of mums that make me feel anxious.

Everyone tells me how lonely they felt being a mum, how they couldn’t talk to people or had friends leave because they didn’t see the new responsibility but I don’t really feel like that, I sometimes really enjoy my own company. I have had some bad experiences with other mothers making me feel bad for my parenting choices so avoiding the situation is better for me, Even with internet groups and anonymous comments can make the most confident mum feel worthless.

I did’t go to these baby groups purely because they aren’t needed in my life but if you think they are needed in yours don’t hesitate to look one up.

I did however download that mummy social app, I have yet to actually go to a meet up but It might be a little step foward in my fear of people and other mums hah

Until next time

Mummy Cat