This year has actually been pretty amazing, yes I have had a few bad months but I’m going to not dwell on them, it will only bring me down and this post isn’t going to be a downer of a post!

Over this year I’ve met so many wonderful people, who have been so supportive and I honestly value their friendships, I joined a comment pod and it’s actually turned into a nice little place to chat about daily life, most in it are book bloggers but it’s actually really great as it’s inspired me to read a bit more than I used to which I am sure they’ll love to hear!

I met some lovely mummy bloggers too, mainly Becca (My girls and Me) who has been such an incredible support and friend, I am so grateful to have met her and I aim to one day meet her in person!

I went to Birmingham to meet some ladies I know from a baby group on Facebook, you can read about it here if you want, I managed to face a fear, not completely as I don’t think I could get back on a train any time soon… to much of my mums pushing, but it was so wonderful to be able to meet these women and their beautiful babies!

This year has also been a year where I finally confronted my mental health and did something about it.. I actually went to speak to a doctor and she diagnosed me with social anxiety.. being diagnosed doesn’t really mean anything, you can deal with mental health without ever going to see a doctor but me taking that huge step into calling a doctor and seeing a stranger, while frightening and I had to go along with my mum, has helped me understand it a little more.. I am certain that there is some underlying depression too as I have been feeling very hopeless and empty at times and somewhat alone even when I know I talk to and have many friends, but I aim to discuss with my doctor when I see her again in the new year.

This year has also been a year for amazing milestones, I hit 1000 twitter followers which is incredible and 200 WordPress followers too! I am also amazed that I reached my goal for 10,000 page views for the year, which compared to some isn’t many but for me it’s amazing! 200 plus people read my blog and I feel truly blessed by it all, Little Ol’ me!!

Plus I completed blogtober which was a mean feat that I am rather proud of, it did kind of make me utterly exhausted during November but I loved it.

Family wise things have been great, Robin has gone from this silent little girl to a chatterbox who just the other day repeated back ‘I love you’ to Mr S, Kai is improving every day at school and Amelia has just impressed us everyday with her smarts! She’s so artistic, you will catch her drawing every day on her little magnetic sketch pad and we finally got a car and got mobile! Popped to Romford to visit their lush store and just simply enjoying the freedom of a car.

Mr S’s website B3 has gone from strength to strength this year with new ideas and new writers, he might annoy me sometimes but I am so proud of how much work he’s put into the website which he owns, from conventions to indie game jams (not the sweet fruit variety) if you love reading about games or know someone who does let them know of the site.. or better if you know someone who might want to write they are offering spaces for writers, non payment at the minute of course but who knows what the future will hold!

As I said, while there have been some really dark days, this year has been a blessing.. I’ve made some wonderful friends in the blogging world and actually travelled to meet some mum friends, I cannot wait to see what adventures 2018 has in store for us!

Wishing you a wonderfully happy new year

Mummy Cat

xxx

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I have talked about my un-diagnosed anxiety quiet a bit on my blog, because its something that is always there and always in the back of my mind..

After what I can only describe as the worst seven weeks of my life, finally ending, well its not ended but its ended up with me dealing with an increase in panic/anxiety attacks, just last week I had three in one week when I usually have one once a month if I’m lucky..

and one of the days I had two back to back of each other.. not good..

So… I am super proud of myself, that I finally picked up the phone and called my GP… to talk to someone about my issues, my mum has recommended that I go see her massage therapist, so that’s probably where I am going to go, if the doctor asks me if I would like treatment, I don’t want to medicate.. I want to try and talk through my problems first before going down the extreme route of medication..

Not that medication is bad, but I don’t think it would be right for me, as I know I find talking much more therapeutic, Mr S has dealt with me talking all the time about my issues, I think its fair that he gets a little break haha.

My appointment is on the 18th of August, my mum is coming with me as I will be alone with the children, offering me support and trying to  make sure that my opinions on being medicated at this second, aren’t ignored.

I feel proud I did it, considering I don’t like talking to people on the phone OR people in general, its a big step for me..

A big step in a much more healthier mind.

I will update you all more later..

Mummy Cat

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I read the daily mail, I know, how could I! Worst newspaper (if you could call it that) in publication.. but in the mornings or quiet times of my day I browse it out of boredom and there was an article on it about a young 15 year old girl who decided to jump in front of a train because her eating disorder had won.

And it really got me thinking about a few of my biggest fears as a parent, how will I cope if my daughters or son is wasting away in front of my eyes and how I will deal with it when it happens.

Parenting like anything is a learning curve, whatever you do wrong with your first you avoid with the second and make completely new mistakes, and looking back on my own childhood, I was an only child, a few mistakes had been made to mold the person I am today.

Reading that article about the 15 year old girl made me realize bullies are unavoidable and will pick apart the one thing you are most insecure about (in my case my weight) and create hell for you, so apart of you hopes that you show your children that the bullies cannot get to you which of course is easier said than done.

I tell my daughter she is beautiful and I tell my son to be proud of his birthmark under his chin but I worry will that be enough, will my encouragement be enough for them to ignore the bullies and hopefully tell someone that someone is being mean to them. Being bullied myself in school and in life I can’t help but be scared for them and their future… 

Which also leads onto another parent fear of mine, what if my child becomes a bully? How will I deal with that, seeing my son or daughters pick on someone else because of their size or cultural background, and respect people for whatever they believe, even if they themselves do not agree with it.

I really just have to hope that I’ve been a good parent, to the best of my ability, which is tough when you yourself suffered with eating issues in the past and even today, I do tell them time and time again that if they have any problems they can talk to me.
Parenting is so stressful as every day is a different challenge and another thing will spring to mind to make me worry but I guess I will just keep on trying my best at it.

Mummy Cat x

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